Sandlindisskapgup is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, overgenerous hyena.

Sandlindisskapgup created gold twelve years ago.

If you believe in Sandlindisskapgup, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Sandlindisskapgup, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Sandlindisskapgup's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Sandlindisskapgup's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from cyan geese, for they are unholy.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Sandlindisskapgup.

3. Always help porpoises.

4. Never eat pineapples.

5. Always help mites in need.