Bagbitrat is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, kind hippopotamus.

Bagbitrat created the Sombrero Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bagbitrat, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Bagbitrat, he will turn you into a sheep.

Bagbitrat's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Bagbitrat's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Bagbitrat nine times a day.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Run away if eight horses approach from the south.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Bagbitrat.

5. Never wear brown kilts.