Maphoncanvonk is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, unselfish capybara.

Maphoncanvonk created humanity four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Maphoncanvonk, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Maphoncanvonk, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Maphoncanvonk's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Maphoncanvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt mites.

2. Never look at nebulae.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Do not take Maphoncanvonk's name in vain.

5. Do not chop down trees.