Arnmetnil is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, tranquil monkey.

Arnmetnil created light three million years ago.

If you believe in Arnmetnil, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Arnmetnil, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Arnmetnil's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Arnmetnil's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about amino acids.

2. You must never eat lemons.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Always help gulls.