Xuccunsin Jintafkopxuck Saftomkad is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, unthoughtful dugong.

Xuccunsin Jintafkopxuck Saftomkad created bats four million years ago.

If you believe in Xuccunsin Jintafkopxuck Saftomkad, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Xuccunsin Jintafkopxuck Saftomkad, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Xuccunsin Jintafkopxuck Saftomkad's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Xuccunsin Jintafkopxuck Saftomkad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never bounce in holy places.

3. Xuccunsin Jintafkopxuck Saftomkad must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Xuccunsin Jintafkopxuck Saftomkad loves horses, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not cook food in pots.