Toflitbest is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, wise weasel.

Toflitbest created the Sun eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Toflitbest, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Toflitbest, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Toflitbest's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Toflitbest's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never feed peas to hamsters while wearing gray dresses.

3. You must pray to Toflitbest nine times a day.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Toflitbest.

5. Never play with disobedient children.