Wontigfod is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, wise duck.

Wontigfod created the Virgo Supercluster nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wontigfod, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Wontigfod, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Wontigfod's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Wontigfod's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat aubergines.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Erect a large copper sculpture of Wontigfod on top of all buildings.

5. Never wear scarves.