Gabjatcattip is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, competent tortoise.

Gabjatcattip created Europe five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gabjatcattip, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Gabjatcattip, it will send you a sign.

Gabjatcattip's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Gabjatcattip's Holy Commandments

1. Gabjatcattip loves badgers, so they must be respected.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not shave your head.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Hide from magenta nematodes for they are unholy.