Fargargod is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, unthoughtful newt.

Fargargod created snails three billion years ago.

If you believe in Fargargod, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Fargargod, she will turn you into a goat.

Fargargod's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Fargargod's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never write about planets.