Larnhivzen is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, pitiless wren.

Larnhivzen created a top quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Larnhivzen, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Larnhivzen, she will turn you into a mole.

Larnhivzen's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Larnhivzen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your back.

2. Erect a large lead sculpture of Larnhivzen on top of all buildings.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

4. Hide if six snakes approach from the east.

5. Do not drink alcohol.