Konlegmip is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, bad-tempered hippopotamus.

Konlegmip created water nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Konlegmip, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Konlegmip, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Konlegmip's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Konlegmip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt rats.

2. Hide from red tortoises for they are unholy.

3. Always make sure there are no ducks in a room before entering it.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.