Cabstragfon Hudwiptal is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, fast squid.

Cabstragfon Hudwiptal created Europe seven million years ago.

If you believe in Cabstragfon Hudwiptal, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Cabstragfon Hudwiptal, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Cabstragfon Hudwiptal's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Cabstragfon Hudwiptal's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Great tits are not to be trusted.