Habragbep is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, loving mongoose.

Habragbep created the planet Saturn seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Habragbep, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Habragbep, he will turn you into a frog.

Habragbep's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Habragbep's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not wear violet clothing.

3. Hide if three dogs approach from the east.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Always take life seriously.