Fabbafpop is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, temperamental crab.

Fabbafpop created humanity eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fabbafpop, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Fabbafpop, he will turn you into a tree.

Fabbafpop's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Fabbafpop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear green clothing.

2. Always help sick snakes.

3. Never look at nebulae.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not commit murder.