Quillbadvonk is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, happy dingo.

Quillbadvonk created snails nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quillbadvonk, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Quillbadvonk, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Quillbadvonk's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Quillbadvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Always help doves.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate rats.

4. Never talk about moons.

5. Always take life seriously.