Tunmotjadwodgutkaptarg is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, astonishing bird.

Tunmotjadwodgutkaptarg created life twelve years ago.

If you believe in Tunmotjadwodgutkaptarg, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tunmotjadwodgutkaptarg, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Tunmotjadwodgutkaptarg's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Tunmotjadwodgutkaptarg's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tunmotjadwodgutkaptarg.

3. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

4. Never feed peas to porpoises while wearing orange dresses.

5. You must never eat rice.