Gabfotquim is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, pitiless dugong.

Gabfotquim created a down quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Gabfotquim, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Gabfotquim, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Gabfotquim's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Gabfotquim's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

3. Never sing in the presence of dolphins.

4. Gabfotquim loves aardvarks, so they must be honoured.

5. Respect your elders.