Xenyarplog is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, self-assured swallow.

Xenyarplog created the Black Eye Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Xenyarplog, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Xenyarplog, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Xenyarplog's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Xenyarplog's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Xenyarplog.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

5. Do not covet oxen.