Lipvilwapcun is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, strong swan.

Lipvilwapcun created humankind five million years ago.

If you believe in Lipvilwapcun, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Lipvilwapcun, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Lipvilwapcun's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Lipvilwapcun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill whales.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Always stare at clouds.