Tailarphun is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, egotistical pig.

Tailarphun created the Large Magellanic Cloud three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tailarphun, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tailarphun, she will be very unhappy.

Tailarphun's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Tailarphun's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Tailarphun on top of all buildings.

2. Never talk about amino acids.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

4. Retreat if four moths approach from the east.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate goats.