Habvadhen Citgabkik Jatwapbin is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, self-confident dugong.

Habvadhen Citgabkik Jatwapbin created a strange quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Habvadhen Citgabkik Jatwapbin, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Habvadhen Citgabkik Jatwapbin, he will destroy your favourite star.

Habvadhen Citgabkik Jatwapbin's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Habvadhen Citgabkik Jatwapbin's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention swans.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never write about asteroids.

4. Always help frogs.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.