Midtenjad Bestyikappfosscutfudlopstip is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, selfish squirrel.

Midtenjad Bestyikappfosscutfudlopstip created the Black Eye Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Midtenjad Bestyikappfosscutfudlopstip, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Midtenjad Bestyikappfosscutfudlopstip, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Midtenjad Bestyikappfosscutfudlopstip's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Midtenjad Bestyikappfosscutfudlopstip's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate monkeys.

2. Always obey Midtenjad Bestyikappfosscutfudlopstip's priests.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

4. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

5. You must love Midtenjad Bestyikappfosscutfudlopstip.