Nilfabfom is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, omnipotent shark.

Nilfabfom created the Cigar Galaxy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Nilfabfom, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Nilfabfom, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Nilfabfom's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Nilfabfom's Holy Commandments

1. Put Nilfabfom first in all things.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never feed bread to porpoises while wearing green scarves.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.