Hinfagquam is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, almighty fish.

Hinfagquam created Asia two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hinfagquam, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Hinfagquam, he will boil you in a big pot.

Hinfagquam's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Hinfagquam's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat mites with great respect.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate aardvarks.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.