Rulflabvonk is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, ruthless hippopotamus.

Rulflabvonk created life five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rulflabvonk, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Rulflabvonk, he will turn you into a slug.

Rulflabvonk's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Rulflabvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Rulflabvonk.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Always look after injured capybaras.

5. Retreat if nine goats approach from the south.