Cepriptif Pigquagkim is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, awesome clam.

Cepriptif Pigquagkim created the planet Jupiter seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cepriptif Pigquagkim, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Cepriptif Pigquagkim, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Cepriptif Pigquagkim's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Cepriptif Pigquagkim's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry hamsters.

2. Never wear kilts.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not wear red clothing.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.