Yarlfadkin is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, unthinking elephant.

Yarlfadkin created tapeworms nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarlfadkin, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Yarlfadkin, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Yarlfadkin's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Yarlfadkin's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention porpoises.

2. You must pray to Yarlfadkin four times a day.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Always treat sharks with great respect.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.