Yambastfum is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, all-powerful porpoise.

Yambastfum created dark matter seven million years ago.

If you believe in Yambastfum, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Yambastfum, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Yambastfum's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Yambastfum's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

2. Always treat tortoises with great respect.

3. You must pray to Yambastfum four times a day.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Pray towards the east.