Botnulgep is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, witty pig.

Botnulgep created bats eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Botnulgep, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Botnulgep, she will not invite you to parties.

Botnulgep's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Botnulgep's Holy Commandments

1. Sharks are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Always help pigs.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. You must never eat limes.