Likquamdon is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, merciless cow.

Likquamdon created the Sun four billion years ago.

If you believe in Likquamdon, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Likquamdon, she will turn you into a duck.

Likquamdon's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Likquamdon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your head.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Likquamdon.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Put Likquamdon first in all things.