Bempanggar is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, fussy goat.

Bempanggar created the Large Magellanic Cloud four billion years ago.

If you believe in Bempanggar, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bempanggar, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Bempanggar's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Bempanggar's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into turquoise rooms.

2. Erect seven gold sculptures of Bempanggar on top of important buildings.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.