Cabsaspit is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, merciless hippopotamus.

Cabsaspit created a top quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Cabsaspit, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Cabsaspit, she will turn you into a sheep.

Cabsaspit's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Cabsaspit's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no great tits in a building before entering it.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Manatees are not to be trusted.

4. Erect eight tin sculptures of Cabsaspit on top of important buildings.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.