Vagarfwab is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, passionate cow.

Vagarfwab created a charm quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vagarfwab, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Vagarfwab, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Vagarfwab's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Vagarfwab's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Vagarfwab.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never think about galaxies.