Dinhommanmum is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, narcissistic goblin.

Dinhommanmum created the Sunflower Galaxy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dinhommanmum, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Dinhommanmum, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Dinhommanmum's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Dinhommanmum's Holy Commandments

1. Dinhommanmum must be the most important thing in your life.

2. You must pray to Dinhommanmum nine times a day.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never hurt goats.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.