Tomtadmid is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, omniscient snail.

Tomtadmid created carbon six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tomtadmid, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tomtadmid, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Tomtadmid's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Tomtadmid's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no ants in a room before entering it.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

4. Never paint your chest cyan.

5. Do not shave your head.