Hognellyar is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, selfish crab.

Hognellyar created the Andromeda Galaxy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hognellyar, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Hognellyar, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Hognellyar's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Hognellyar's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never laugh in the presence of moths.

3. Hognellyar must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never paint your back gray.

5. Never look in ponds.