Gunyamdab Liglarpshavtarp is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, intelligent penguin.

Gunyamdab Liglarpshavtarp created snails two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gunyamdab Liglarpshavtarp, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Gunyamdab Liglarpshavtarp, he will turn you into a snail.

Gunyamdab Liglarpshavtarp's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Gunyamdab Liglarpshavtarp's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never think about black holes.

5. Do not wear silver on your body.