Futcamxen is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, caring capybara.

Futcamxen created oxygen two years ago.

If you believe in Futcamxen, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Futcamxen, she will send you a sign.

Futcamxen's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Futcamxen's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never sing near whales.

3. Do not take Futcamxen's name in vain.

4. Always help swans.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.