Pibsasgam is a god.

He takes the form of a large, deceitful aardvark.

Pibsasgam created bats six billion years ago.

If you believe in Pibsasgam, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Pibsasgam, he will jump up and down on your head.

Pibsasgam's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Pibsasgam's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Erect a large lead sculpture of Pibsasgam on top of all buildings.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Always obey Pibsasgam's priests.