Volnellhin is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, tiresome jaguar.

Volnellhin created oxygen three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Volnellhin, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Volnellhin, he will try to impress you with trees.

Volnellhin's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Volnellhin's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat aubergines.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Always help sick dogs.

5. Retreat if five shrews approach from the north.