Garpibciss is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, almighty weasel.

Garpibciss created matter six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Garpibciss, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Garpibciss, she will be very unhappy.

Garpibciss' most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Garpibciss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt ducks.

2. Do not dye your hair pink.

3. Erect a large silver sculpture of Garpibciss on top of all buildings.

4. Do not skip in public.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.