Kamzagfub is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, two-faced swallow.

Kamzagfub created the Sun eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kamzagfub, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Kamzagfub, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Kamzagfub's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Kamzagfub's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear turquoise.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never paint your hands fawn.

5. Never wear violet shorts.