Mum is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, unthoughtful hare.

Mum created silver six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mum, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Mum, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Mum's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Mum's Holy Commandments

1. Put Mum first in all things.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Do not drink water in red rooms.