Tapgid is a god.

He takes the form of a large, unthoughtful parrot.

Tapgid created an up quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tapgid, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Tapgid, he will jump up and down on your head.

Tapgid's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Tapgid's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Hide from magenta snakes for they are unholy.

3. Never feed nuts to sheep while wearing indigo trousers.

4. Never talk about gravity.

5. Never wear purple tights.