Cetviltabtagwap is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, ruthless pigeon.

Cetviltabtagwap created bats eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cetviltabtagwap, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Cetviltabtagwap, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Cetviltabtagwap's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Cetviltabtagwap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about pineapples.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never paint your head black.

4. Do not shave your back.

5. Never feed peanuts to tapirs while wearing turquoise rings.