Waptunhap Farrig is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, charitable mink.

Waptunhap Farrig created an electron seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Waptunhap Farrig, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Waptunhap Farrig, he will refuse to believe in you.

Waptunhap Farrig's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Waptunhap Farrig's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate whales.

2. Never talk about stars.

3. Do not wear zinc on your body.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never pour water over plants.