Nurtcarjan is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, unfair crow.

Nurtcarjan created a bottom quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtcarjan, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Nurtcarjan, she will not invite you to parties.

Nurtcarjan's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Nurtcarjan's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no cats in a room before entering it.

2. Never talk about sheep.

3. Always look after injured rats.

4. Never eat lemons.

5. Never talk about moons.