Xemgutfod is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, awesome human.

Xemgutfod created everything that exists two million years ago.

If you believe in Xemgutfod, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Xemgutfod, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Xemgutfod's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Xemgutfod's Holy Commandments

1. Always help dolphins.

2. Worship no other gods but Xemgutfod.

3. Horses are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Seals are not to be trusted.

5. Always treat geese with great respect.