Mipgutnan is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, omniscient monkey.

Mipgutnan created humankind six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mipgutnan, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Mipgutnan, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Mipgutnan's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Mipgutnan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat pineapples.

2. Do not skip in public.

3. Never talk about pigs.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Always pray immersed in water.