Lanhaplog is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, tiresome lizard.

Lanhaplog created a top quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lanhaplog, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Lanhaplog, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Lanhaplog's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Lanhaplog's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

2. Never talk about tortoises.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.